I am engaged to a wonderful man. I should be the happiest woman in the world but it is the totally opposed. I have known my fiancé for 5 years. I am 23 years old now. We are planning to get married in two years.
My fiancé is an amazing man but he is VERY VERY short tempered. About two years ago, I met this latino guy. At first, he was my guy friend. He was telling me that he wants me to be his girlfriend but I never paid much attention. I used to see him and talk about logic, philosophy, religion etc. It felt good talking to him since he never got angry when I would disagree with him (unlike my fiancé at that time). So I started developing feeling for this guy. And I told him that I kinda of loved him. That is when this latino guy changed. He started calling me names. He turned into a total jerk. That is when I stopped seeing him. And I told my fiancé that there was this latino guy who hit on me and I swore to him on my future kids’ lives that I’ll never talk to that latino guy again. I kept my promise for five months but I was thinking of the latino guy every day. I missed the latino guy sooooooooooo much. Until one day, I ran into him and I couldn’t help but talking to him. He was talking as if he is so innocent and how I usually took my anger on him when I am so sick. I talked to him for three hours. I hated him and myself so much at that moment. For the first time ever, I can say, “I honestly don’t care about this guy anymore”. I stopped thinking of him and I truly moved on with my life. Keep in mind that I never kissed that latino guy, nor did I hug him.
However, I broke my promise to my fiancé. I told him that I the latino guy talked to me (the truth is I talked to him first, not the other way around). I also told my boyfriend that we only talked for two minutes. My fiancé was very upset but he forgave me.
Also three years ago, I let a couple of men flirt with me. Nothing happened (didn’t kiss them or hugged them) but I didn’t stop them from flirting with me. My fiancé doesn’t know about this.
We got engaged few days ago. I feel awful that I haven’t been totally honest with about my past. But I know if I told him, he’ll leave me right away and I truly love him. My question is should I tell him about my past and risk losing him?Should i tell my fiance about my past and risk losing him?
Looks like you have a hard time controlling your emotions. I think that you've been honest enough. Too much information if you dish all. If you are really ready to be married, then there is no good that can come out of telling him but ONLY ONLY ONLY if you are going to remain honest and faithful from the time you and he became engaged. All is fair, in love and war, until he put a ring on it!
Honestly, it seems like you may need to hang out with more women and not put yourself in potentially tempting situations. Good Luck and Congrats on your engagement, enjoy it!Should i tell my fiance about my past and risk losing him?
No, it was painful enough for me to just read all this, I can't imagine what hearing it would sound like!
EVERYBODY loves to be flirted with doesn't mean you cheated
YES
THEN U CAN LET GO
be honest.
People flirt! There is nothing wrong with it. You did nothing wrong, but I have to say, you shouldn't marry a guy with a short fuse and an anger problem. The latino guy has the same personality.
Why are you after men like this? I wouldn't marry either of these guys, if I were you. You are being too hard on yourself. I'm sure your fiance has flirted with other women too.
You said this just 3 months ago:
';So, I kept chatting to that Latino guy even though this Latino man kept making fun of me. I stopped talking to him four months ago; the problem is I still think about him from time to time even though I have never met him in person. I am really not sure what to do.';
Not sure what your trying to play here, but your way too immature to get married and maybe you should just start fresh with someone else....your one confused chick.
Be honest and grow up. You sound immature and like you dont know what you want. You shouldnt have agreed to marry him when you cant be honest. You are sick for knowing that latino guy liked you and then telling him you kind of love him! Who does that?? Figure out what you want, be honest with yourself and your fiance and save everyone heartache and trouble
Theres something called ';life before marriage'; and we all have/had one. Talking to someone is not exactly earth shattering and you say nothing happened so why start trouble over something as petty as this and risk the chance of losing Mr Wonderful? Forget it as it really isnt worth the trouble here. Now if you cant live with yourse;lf because of something really stupid, then by all means tell him but you will regret it when you can just shove this into the skeleton closet and move on. Seriously, this really isnt that big a deal to lose someone over. Move on
If you truly loved him, you would never have put yourself in the position to feel guilty. If you can't be totally honest with him, you have no business going thru with an engagement/wedding.
On a seperate topic, if he has a short temper, is this your ideal partner for life?
When you said PAST, I thought you meant something concrete, not this silly stuff (no offense). If he'd leave you over guys flirting with you, that's ridiculous. There is no reason to tell him every single little thing, I mean that sort of thing is meaningless, and certainly not cheating or anything.
You need to give the ring back and take some time to grow up. Right now you are attracted to guys who are bad for you.
The latino guy has a bit of a temper too and I have no doubt he would screw your socks off before walking away. He don't want you forever, he wants to use you and he is a jerk.
You can't talk to your fiance about anything because if you disagree he gets angry.
Don't throw away your life. Find a guy who is really into you. Not just for sex but for all of you. Both of those guys are poor choices if you want to be happy.
If you did not know right from wrong you would not feel the guilt you are feeling. In my personal opinion ? I think that what he doesn't know isn't going to hurt you. But you really need to make some changes in your life ! Especially if you want to keep the present boy friend.
Just try and remember that just because you do not tell all you have not gotten away with everything ! It could still come full circle and bite you in the a$$
Um I don't see what you are stressing over. You did not do anything but talk to this guy. Everyone has thoughts of, or feeling toward others during the course of a relationship. The truth is there is nothing you did that would jeopardize that. Talking is not cheating and neither is flirting.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I am (secretly) jealous of my (gorgeous)sister? does it make me a bad sister?how do i like stop?
let me just be frank my sister is a paler version of me with green eyes....for normal people thats like not a big deal but for pakistani culture...it defines the difference between an average girl and a beautiful girl......she looks like my mom both pale and both have greens..i look like my dad..who is handsome for a man but for a girl i guess in our culture not so much truthfully....its always annoying that people outside my race find me attractive rather than inside of my race....i was in a pakistani wedding and when my sister and i were sitting together...i noticed every successful male doctor and their mothers were at her side..trying to flirt/chat up/ the mothers questioning her...she gets marriage porposals(part of the whole groomsmen culture) left and right....It doesnt really matter that when we are at clubs I get more notice and men flirt with me more but thats only because I have a better body..... : (....its not like im going to date a white or black man anyway...but if every person of my pakistani ethnicity keeps reminding me how beautiful my sister is...i get a little jealous...does it make me a bad sister...she says she gets jealous of my body..body who cares if i have never get fat...she is more beautiful than me...I am (secretly) jealous of my (gorgeous)sister? does it make me a bad sister?how do i like stop?
No it doesn't. My mother is really good looking %26amp; sometimes I resent her but it's only normal.JI am (secretly) jealous of my (gorgeous)sister? does it make me a bad sister?how do i like stop?
No, that doesn't make you a bad sister. That's funny, I was just thinking about how my sister is prettier than me. She's younger too, which makes it all the more annoying. Just try to remember that you love her and that you're pretty too.
when you feel jealous,stand in front of mirror and think that God is most beautiful in this universe then how can God make us ugly?we all are his creation and image of God so trust yourself you are so beautiful in this world.
Well from a Western perspective, you have it all, so you COULD change things by playing in a different ball-park!
Ethnicity, religion and nationalism are artificial barriers created by our social construct. Rise above that!
You think she looks hot, and she thinks you look hot.
So where is the problem?
You are both hot in your own way.
It will probably always be like that.
You will laugh about it later in your lives.
like totally
Call Michael Jackson, he some how made his skin paler.
Dont you just love yourself.!!!!
hey both of u should get chances.....u luk attractive outside (in clubs) n she is attracted with ur culture.....i don't think ur a bad sis.....
just get drunk and forget it.
if that's really you in that avatar.. no need to be jealous of anyone, you are a straight 5 star hard on
why would you be jelous? you look gorgeous to me =D
it does not make you a bad sister at all!!!
it happens to everyone! im sure everyone has been jealous of their siblings. aww im really sorry you feel that way though.
i dont know what you can do to stop feeling that way. maybe you should talk to her about it. its always nice to open up.
also you can like totally use papaya soap. its like a whitening soap that can make you lighter. and it works! like seriously. maybe if you are lighter you will have a boost of confidence
If that's you in the picture...wow. Gorgeous (at least from a straight white woman's perspective). Anyway, it's perfectly normal. I'm jealous of my sister sometimes, too. She's blond and I'm a brunette. She also has bigger boobs and a cuter nose, hah. But I love her and realize that we both have flaws and we both are beautiful in different ways. I don't know much about your culture, but jealousy is universal :)
No it doesn't. My mother is really good looking %26amp; sometimes I resent her but it's only normal.JI am (secretly) jealous of my (gorgeous)sister? does it make me a bad sister?how do i like stop?
No, that doesn't make you a bad sister. That's funny, I was just thinking about how my sister is prettier than me. She's younger too, which makes it all the more annoying. Just try to remember that you love her and that you're pretty too.
when you feel jealous,stand in front of mirror and think that God is most beautiful in this universe then how can God make us ugly?we all are his creation and image of God so trust yourself you are so beautiful in this world.
Well from a Western perspective, you have it all, so you COULD change things by playing in a different ball-park!
Ethnicity, religion and nationalism are artificial barriers created by our social construct. Rise above that!
You think she looks hot, and she thinks you look hot.
So where is the problem?
You are both hot in your own way.
It will probably always be like that.
You will laugh about it later in your lives.
like totally
Call Michael Jackson, he some how made his skin paler.
Dont you just love yourself.!!!!
hey both of u should get chances.....u luk attractive outside (in clubs) n she is attracted with ur culture.....i don't think ur a bad sis.....
just get drunk and forget it.
if that's really you in that avatar.. no need to be jealous of anyone, you are a straight 5 star hard on
why would you be jelous? you look gorgeous to me =D
it does not make you a bad sister at all!!!
it happens to everyone! im sure everyone has been jealous of their siblings. aww im really sorry you feel that way though.
i dont know what you can do to stop feeling that way. maybe you should talk to her about it. its always nice to open up.
also you can like totally use papaya soap. its like a whitening soap that can make you lighter. and it works! like seriously. maybe if you are lighter you will have a boost of confidence
If that's you in the picture...wow. Gorgeous (at least from a straight white woman's perspective). Anyway, it's perfectly normal. I'm jealous of my sister sometimes, too. She's blond and I'm a brunette. She also has bigger boobs and a cuter nose, hah. But I love her and realize that we both have flaws and we both are beautiful in different ways. I don't know much about your culture, but jealousy is universal :)
What do he think when he dont talk to me?
married for 3 yrs. we had a fight initially in our marriage bcz he was trying to gain attention of some other lady. he insulted me and i insulted him. after that we dont have interest in each other. we both are upset. we dont talk for 15,20,30 days after every 2-3 days conversation. we are not able to forget what happened initially and so not ready to respect each other again.
he dont have anyone else in his life nor me. he go to work, come back watch TV/internet, sleep and go back to work. on weekend he keep on sleeping.me stay at home. sometime work. it has been 2-1/2 yrs like this. we dont talk continous for 20 days. i dont know what is he thinking. why dont he try to say sorry for breaking my trust.
he got job, so able to keep quiet for long time. but i am at home. life is hell for me. i triend to find job, but couldnt succeed. i am also taking anti depressent now.
he is not ready to take divorse. in front my parents he say he want to live with me for whole life, so i cant ask my parents to keep me with them when he is behaving so nice in front of them every one blame me for this, bcz i am a girl i should have compromised and accepted his behavior instead of insulting him, they say that he didnt sleep with her. he was only flirting. hearing these words hurt. how can i accep that my husband is bored with me just in 1st month of marriage. and bcz it was just starting of my love with him, at that stage i couldnt control myself and insulted him. now everyone say all men are like this so why did i insulted him. i should have kept quiet and be happy for getting a well settled man. what should i do.
is it true that all man flirt and stop making their wife feel special after getting married to them.What do he think when he dont talk to me?
It works both ways.. an insult for an insult. When you start being dissatisfied with your life then it turns on to the nearest person to you so that you make their life unhappy. Find yourself and then try to work on the marriage.What do he think when he dont talk to me?
Just get a divorce, just flirting is not an excuse . You cannot give back your trust to him, he is the one that ****** up your marriage, you dont deserved to be blamed, they are telling you that bcz it doesn't happened to them or they have a low self esteem.
You guys either don't love each other or are too immature to be married.
Not all men are like that - this is the lie women who accept mediocre men tell each other.
Are you for real??? The minute he went after another woman you should of divorce his a.s.s.
If you had a sister, a best friend or a daughter who wrote to you with this problem, how would you advise them to proceed?
That's right. Divorce this man. Your relationship ended a long time ago. You know it and so does he. Swallow your pride and forget about what your parents think.
And NO, it is in no way normal for a newly married man to flirt with another woman. He has not apologized because he feels like he did no wrong. This man broke your heart and you spend weeks on end without talking to him. You do not have a marriage, you have a horrible room mate.
You say he is not ready to talk divorce. That tells me that he is okay with your relationship as it is. So, that is what to expect....a husband who ignores you. You say your life is hell. You do not need his permission to get a divorce, you know. Go to your parents, tell them the truth about your failed marriage, borrow money for a divorce and be done with it. Or, learn to enjoy a horrible marriage, somehow.
P.S. I don't suppose there is a chance of you getting pregnant if you are not even speaking to him for weeks on end; however, please do whatever you can to prevent pregnancy until you either come to grips with this unusual marriage arrangement or things improve drastically.
No child deserves to be raised in these circumstances.
no its not true and its not suppose to be like that.
talk to him when you are calm, apologise for insulting him and dont force him to apologise
tell him you need to make things work between the two of you, arrange for counselling
do the things that you use to do before you got married, try not to bring back his past mistakes
he dont have anyone else in his life nor me. he go to work, come back watch TV/internet, sleep and go back to work. on weekend he keep on sleeping.me stay at home. sometime work. it has been 2-1/2 yrs like this. we dont talk continous for 20 days. i dont know what is he thinking. why dont he try to say sorry for breaking my trust.
he got job, so able to keep quiet for long time. but i am at home. life is hell for me. i triend to find job, but couldnt succeed. i am also taking anti depressent now.
he is not ready to take divorse. in front my parents he say he want to live with me for whole life, so i cant ask my parents to keep me with them when he is behaving so nice in front of them every one blame me for this, bcz i am a girl i should have compromised and accepted his behavior instead of insulting him, they say that he didnt sleep with her. he was only flirting. hearing these words hurt. how can i accep that my husband is bored with me just in 1st month of marriage. and bcz it was just starting of my love with him, at that stage i couldnt control myself and insulted him. now everyone say all men are like this so why did i insulted him. i should have kept quiet and be happy for getting a well settled man. what should i do.
is it true that all man flirt and stop making their wife feel special after getting married to them.What do he think when he dont talk to me?
It works both ways.. an insult for an insult. When you start being dissatisfied with your life then it turns on to the nearest person to you so that you make their life unhappy. Find yourself and then try to work on the marriage.What do he think when he dont talk to me?
Just get a divorce, just flirting is not an excuse . You cannot give back your trust to him, he is the one that ****** up your marriage, you dont deserved to be blamed, they are telling you that bcz it doesn't happened to them or they have a low self esteem.
You guys either don't love each other or are too immature to be married.
Not all men are like that - this is the lie women who accept mediocre men tell each other.
Are you for real??? The minute he went after another woman you should of divorce his a.s.s.
If you had a sister, a best friend or a daughter who wrote to you with this problem, how would you advise them to proceed?
That's right. Divorce this man. Your relationship ended a long time ago. You know it and so does he. Swallow your pride and forget about what your parents think.
And NO, it is in no way normal for a newly married man to flirt with another woman. He has not apologized because he feels like he did no wrong. This man broke your heart and you spend weeks on end without talking to him. You do not have a marriage, you have a horrible room mate.
You say he is not ready to talk divorce. That tells me that he is okay with your relationship as it is. So, that is what to expect....a husband who ignores you. You say your life is hell. You do not need his permission to get a divorce, you know. Go to your parents, tell them the truth about your failed marriage, borrow money for a divorce and be done with it. Or, learn to enjoy a horrible marriage, somehow.
P.S. I don't suppose there is a chance of you getting pregnant if you are not even speaking to him for weeks on end; however, please do whatever you can to prevent pregnancy until you either come to grips with this unusual marriage arrangement or things improve drastically.
No child deserves to be raised in these circumstances.
no its not true and its not suppose to be like that.
talk to him when you are calm, apologise for insulting him and dont force him to apologise
tell him you need to make things work between the two of you, arrange for counselling
do the things that you use to do before you got married, try not to bring back his past mistakes
Would you be suspicious?
Here's the scenario. Wife is admittedly attracted to older, well-off men. One such gentleman has recently begun flirting with her, offering drinks at his bar (without husband), to take her on rides on his motorcycle, and now in his new Bentley. To this point, she has told me about such incidents. On internet history, I find searches on the gentleman, his business, and then the following in order: How do men flirt?, how do older men flirt with younger women?, cheating if both people are married, why do men say they'll call and then don't, and one other. Should I be suspicious based solely on such a search history?Would you be suspicious?
Yes, those are signs she is seriously considering doing something more than just hanging out and chatting with this guy at his bar. Keep your eyes open and your wife entertained, otherwise she'll find this other chap way more attractive.Would you be suspicious?
yes you should considering what you said earlier
why are they spending so much time together while they are married to other people?
it can only be because they want to build something out of this sudden friendship
considering the fact that this woman has always been interested in man like him, there's definitely something there
the search also proves something
Just cos ur wife likes to flirt doesn't giv u reason to be suspicious. Flirting is just like fun to some people. So don't jump to conclusions but if u don't like it tell ur wife.Dont blame the old man am sure he's trying to re-live his youth and ur wife indulging him.
YESSSSSS!!! its very suspicious.... the fact that a guy is giving nice treatment to your wife... i dont think that that man has no bad intention at all to your wife... talk it over with your wife and tell her if you are not comfortable about the issue.
You shouldn't be suspicious based on what you found on the computer. What should make you suspicious is your wife's interest in Hefner.
That's tight to flirt with a married person. I would be suspicious. You need to have a talk with her.
better talk to her, and sort out the issue. Remember trust is always important for a healthy relation.
yes you should be suspicious
Uh, YEAH.
yes i would. totally.
but i guess you should talk to her first.
I'd contact Cheaters
Yes, those are signs she is seriously considering doing something more than just hanging out and chatting with this guy at his bar. Keep your eyes open and your wife entertained, otherwise she'll find this other chap way more attractive.Would you be suspicious?
yes you should considering what you said earlier
why are they spending so much time together while they are married to other people?
it can only be because they want to build something out of this sudden friendship
considering the fact that this woman has always been interested in man like him, there's definitely something there
the search also proves something
Just cos ur wife likes to flirt doesn't giv u reason to be suspicious. Flirting is just like fun to some people. So don't jump to conclusions but if u don't like it tell ur wife.Dont blame the old man am sure he's trying to re-live his youth and ur wife indulging him.
YESSSSSS!!! its very suspicious.... the fact that a guy is giving nice treatment to your wife... i dont think that that man has no bad intention at all to your wife... talk it over with your wife and tell her if you are not comfortable about the issue.
You shouldn't be suspicious based on what you found on the computer. What should make you suspicious is your wife's interest in Hefner.
That's tight to flirt with a married person. I would be suspicious. You need to have a talk with her.
better talk to her, and sort out the issue. Remember trust is always important for a healthy relation.
yes you should be suspicious
Uh, YEAH.
yes i would. totally.
but i guess you should talk to her first.
I'd contact Cheaters
I'm having an emotional affair behind my wife's back?
My wife is a beautiful woman and she can attract a lot of attention especially from men. We've been married for two years and have no children. Men flirt with her and she doesn't make an effort to stop it. Should I have to tell her I don't like men flirting with her? She says it's nothing serious, just joking around. I understand that flirting won't hurt anyone - to a certain extent. Now I am starting to resent my wife for not really understanding how I feel.
In July, I met a woman when I was working as a teacher at summer school. We got close and we ended up working together full time at a high school in September. Over the past few months, my wife has been busy with her things and I try to understand because she loves what she does. My colleague and I have gotten so close. It's so obvious we have feelings for each other. I never wanted this, but it happened. She knows I have a wife and I know she has a fiancee. We haven't announced how we feel to each other because we really don't need to. School's out right now so I haven't seen her since last week. I want to see her so bad, but I am a married man. I keep telling myself I am a married man and I love my wife. Everytime I do this, I feel like I am trying to convince myself of something else.
What do I do?I'm having an emotional affair behind my wife's back?
That's how cheating starts when there is no transparency in a marriage. You failed to communicate with your wife how you felt about her behavior, bottled it up inside you and got attracted to another woman. This is definitely cheating. If you told your wife you didn't like her flirting with other men and how you felt about it, she might not continue it.
Now you have to ask yourself what do you really want. If you are still unhappy after she changes her behavior, then you should get a divorce and flirt with other women. But stop cheating while you're still married to her.
By the way, you said that the other woman has a fiance, so she is cheating too. If you're really unhappy, talk about it, if still it doesn't work, get a divorce and find a good woman, with no strings attached.I'm having an emotional affair behind my wife's back?
and what has happened between you and this other woman, is the exact reason why you don't want her flirting with other men!
we ladies sometimes have trouble accepting the fact that our men actually do have feelings, unlike the masculinity that's upfront. if i were you, i'd print her this post and show it to her. obviously she didn't hear you the first time...
...and if she doesn't hear it this time, then you'll have some decisions to make.
good luck.
i can't believe i'm referencing drphil.. but.. he says do not start another relationship until you finish the one you are in.
you and your wife have problems - resolve them one way or another
if you split up, then you can pursue this chick
if you stay together, you wont want to pursue this chick
good luck
If you really love your wife, why do you have to keep trying to convince yourself that you do?....If you really love someone, you don't just think that you love them...you know you love them......GOOD LUCK........BE HAPPY.....LIFE'S TOO SHORT........
the other woman sounds like a perfect match maybe you should give her a chance all is fair in love and war don't wait until you have kids with your wife and decide to leave
Stop seeing this woman. You DO NOT have to hang with her for work.
That is, if you give a rat's butt about your marriage.
Stop it before it goes any further and you can't turn back.
AW! You have a crush:)
Now you have to never talk to her again until you both are over it. Sorry.
Change schools and don't have any more contact with her.
Talk to your wife and keep it in your pants
I like Just Me's answer. How very sweet of her to share that with you. That's very generous.
ACT like you're a married man, that's what you do.
talk to your wife about it.
I agree with 2275c ~
nothin stupid
When you married your wife - what sort of things did you promise her in your vows? Of course most people now don't think honesty is important- perhaps you're in that category. Is a promise only worth keeping if you feel like it? Your question is nicely worded to make others feel sorry for you and forgive your behavior. Example: ';Men flirt with her and she doesn't make an effort to stop it'; or ';My wife has been busy with her things and I try to understand because she loves what she does';
If someone is feeling lonely, left out, or unappreciated in a marriage they should not sit back and feel sorry for themselves (and let someone else fill up their void)-- Be Proactive! ';Flirt'; with her (instead of letting other guys)- compliment her- behave how you did when you wanted HER. Don't allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself and let that be the determining factor in continuing this ';emotional affair.'; Love is a Choice- a decision, not a feeling.
Of course if that's the kind of guy you are (unfaithful, someone who gives up easily, one who promises something that he doesn't care to follow through on, etc...) then sure-- continue with this affair. You're the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror everyday.
I hardly ever get on somebody's case like this-- I'm not trying to be nasty or mean. I know it sounds like it, but I encourage you to take a step back and look at what you've been doing for the past months objectively. Just because you hook up with someone else doesn't guarantee you happiness in the next relationship. No one person can totally meet all the needs (emotionally speaking) of anyone else. I'm sure the woman who you are currently attracted to is very lovely, I'm quite sure there are some redeeming qualities in your wife too, otherwise you wouldn't have married her.
Trust me if you do her now, you'll both in some way lose respect for each other. She will lose some respect for you for doing her while married, and you will lose some respect for her for doing a married man. You may not admit it now, the ';flame'; is providing a ';healthy'; dose of denial, but in the end it will happen. Then further down the line if you are married to this woman, she at least will wonder if you would ever cheat on her, since you cheated once while married. Also, don't forget, in the end, you're the one who is in control of your own life. You can choose to stick by your wife regardless of other temptations and take pride in the fact that you are loyal to your wife. You can choose to decide your marriage was a mistake and you would be much happier with this woman. In the end it's up to you and only YOU know whether this new woman is someone you think you would be forever happy with or whether she is someone you're physically attractive to but wouldn't be able to be faithful to in th end. Only you know the kind of person you are, how easily it comes to you to break vows you made and how seriously you would take next vows. Good luck.
This is not good, because if your wife finds out, she will never trust you again! Is this really worth it losing everything you have and want? This is just an infatuation your going through SO SNAP OUT OF IT! and don't be an idiot! during this vacation time clear your mind of her and start a new with your wife get the passion back this Christmas and go back a new man. My question to you is; why would you want a women that is willing to commit adultery and hurt the man she is promised to? check her character their is something wrong with any women that will go after a married man, and do you really want someone like that? I think its just lust of the flash your going for. as for her, she sounds like bad news! in a pretty package ( BOOM!) :(
Is it really worth it? If your marriage means anything to you, then you won't let this go any further. If this is just a silly crush, get over it - you need to pick who is most important to you, and that should be your wife. Just tell yourself that under no circumstances will you ever let this become more than a friendship, and tell yourself that everytime you think of the other woman.
Okay, I will tell you my story and you pick up from it whatever advice you need... I am a 19 year old college student and I started working at a private gym back in March... I met this wonderful 27 year old man, and, tentatively, we began to fall for each other... He had been with his wife in a relationship for 10 years and married for 2 years... He never imagined he could fall in love with someone else. I, having been brought up with very high morals and having attended church all my life, never thought it was possible that I would fall for a married guy. We both did... Hard. We started seeing each other more, because he always said he felt the way he felt for a reason and he didn't want to let go without figuring out why it was that we were feeling that way... So we became closer each and every day... Then one day his wife found out... It made matters very complicated as she told his entire family and everything got very messy. Everything was dragged on for about 3 months before she finally moved out of the house... Now they are separated and our relationship is stronger than ever. He is planning on getting a divorce, and although we are not proud of the way our relationship started based on deceit, we understand that we are very much in love. I wouldn't trade him for the world and it has been a very hard year for the both of us... Emotionally draining and our relationship has been tested quite a bit... But we keep holding on. What I have to say to you is that it all depends if you think it'll be worth it... What my boyfriend regrets is having kept it from her and her finding out the way she did. Try to always come clean so things are as least complicated as possible... Remember the saying: What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. Good luck to you, and just be careful, patient, and safe....
You are not a bad man. You are simply human...therefore, imperfect.
Be careful here. The fact you know this is not right, and will lead to a lot of stress and drama is clear in your post. You are not some immature 19 year old who has no experience...You are playing with fire- and you know it!
Listen...We all make mistakes, and many times we end up in places we never thought we'd go to. But I really think you need to decide what it is you want.
If you want to remain married, talk to your wife, tell her to stop flirting and tell her how you feel when she does it. Go to counseling- both by yourself and as a couple.
If you feel your resentment and anger have reached a level that cannot be undone, then figure out if you are willing to work on making the relationship work- or not. If you don't love or trust your wife anymore, then get a divorce.
But do not continue to see this other woman for now. She is also in a relationship, and this is also hard for her. If you two are meant to be together, you will feel it and you will both work on ending your mutual relationships first.
Good luck.
hmm... well if you are uncomfortable with your wife flirting then that was the first red flag to do something about saving your marriage. But you chose to ignore it... and shame on you for that.
Every relationship is different, just because other people say flirting is not a big deal does not deem it ';ok'; to do it in your marriage... if you were uncomfortable with it and started to build resentment against her for it, then you should have taken the first step to resolving your marital problems.
Instead you decided to sit on that resentment and use it as an excuse to look elsewhere for attention. There is no one to blame here but you... absolutely your responsbility to take care of your marriage and express your feelings and your needs to your wife. Do you think she is a mindreader?
You suck!
I would suggest talking to your wife about this. If you had done that in the first place, she would have gotten to understand how you feel. I don't think seeing other men flirt with her is cause for finding another woman. Sounds like an excuse to make you feel less guilty about what your doing. If you had communicated with your wife about feeling neglected or that you needed more quality time together, she would be able to know what your needing. Instead you have kept it to yourself, and allowed yourself to fall for someone else. And emotional intimacy is worse that the physical almost. Like you said, you are a married man, though not acting like it. You need to discuss the WHOLE situation with your wife and start being honest now, while you still have a chance to salvage your marriage.
First don't make excuses for what you're feeling. ';other men'; flirting with your wife is not an excuse for allowing yourself to feel anything for another person. If you truly love your wife you would distance yourself from temptation. On top of everything she's also engaged.. you both might just like each others attention and company but if you truly love your wife you'll let those feelings fade away because it's only calling for trouble. Just because you're not necessarily happy or comfortable with what you have at home, doesn't mean that an affair will make things better... ';she'; (your colleague) is not better than your wife.. you just don't live with her. Talk to your wife and let her know what you're feeling, that you feel you need more attention and try new things, you might even find that she feels the same way. Good luck!
Obviously you both need a little more attention. She flirts with other guys to get this attention and you get the attention from this other woman. Maybe you and your wife need to spend some extra time together and have a romantic day. Wine and dine, rent a hotel room (just so you won't be in the same place you have always been). It will mix it up and make things a little more interesting. Bubble bath, roses, candles, red wine. No fighting, or talking about work. Just a whole day dedicated to you two.
that's a tough one because it is hard to convince the heart of something it already has its mind set on,,,,,so talk to your colleague about it...i mean it might be something you just have to let go of....will she be willing to end the engagement and will you be willing to get a divorce,,,you need to figure out what the both of you want and if risking everything will be worth it or is it just a ';you want what you cant have';? and once you have it you wont want it anymore????
There are only a couple solutions to this dilemma sweetie. One is that you tell your wife what's been going on and more importantly, what you feel led to this situation. In order for anything to work, the 2 of you need to commit to marriage counseling and re-commit to the marriage. The marriage counseling will improve your communication skills, make your marriage a priority, and force you two to talk about any issues you're having. My guess is that this other woman offers nothing that your wife doesn't have really - it's just that you have a deeper emotional issue going on with your wife, but instead of facing it, you've chosen to immerse yourself in this other woman. The other option is for you to ask yourself WHY you even allowed this to happen and whether or not you truly want to salvage your r'ship. If the answer is no, then I think you have your answer. But really, I don't think divorce is the right option here. You love your wife, she loves you but the 2 of you just haven't dealt well with the emotional issues you're having. This other woman isn't the answer. In order to give your r'ship a fighting chance, you MUST either transfer schools or insist on teaching in a different part of the school so you don't see her. Seeing her everyday is what has led to this situation.
Are you sure you just don't like this women because she is paying alot of attention to you? Proceed with caution here. Once you cross that line, you can't uncross it. Im aware that you know this so think, think, think!
What your wife does (flirting) is wrong. Especially since she knows it bothers so much but, what you are doing is worse. She openly flirts with other men, you are doing ';something'; behind her back. It is absolutely wrong if you can't tell your spouse about it.
You owe it to yourself and your wife to talk openly about this. Try everything. Counseling if you must. Marriage is supposed to be forever, not until something better comes around.
Good luck to you two.
Honestly, you need to man up a bit. Stop blaming your wife for your actions. It sounds like to me, that you allowed things to develop with the other woman and trying to blame it on your wife's flaws to justify yourself.
You need to decide whether you want your marriage to work or pursue things with this other woman. If you want to work it out with your wife then start being honest with her, and keep contact with the other woman strictly professional. I bet she isn't a mind reader so how is she supposed to know what she does bothers you if you do not tell her? You can't expect your marriage to be successful if you don't work at it. And yes you do need to tell her that her flirting bothers you, not everyone would be upset over that. You resent your wife for something that you haven't been clear about.
If you want to pursue this relationship with the other woman then you need to break things off with your wife. But you sound very petty and a bit of a pussy. It doesn't seem like you genuinely want this other woman, but just trying to go tit for tat with your wife to show her other women want you too. Be honest with yourself, and proactive about improving your relationship.
You go home to your wife, and make things work. You don't make vows to someone, then chase after someone else. That's a good way to wind up having one of them cut off your man parts. Seriously, women can be crazy when you treat them badly.
Transfer schools and stay as far away from this other woman as possible!
Honestly, you're whining because some guy flirts with your wife %26amp; yet you don't see a problem with putting yourself in a situation where you're trying to get with someone else?? Really? You know what it feels like, and you're doing it anyway. What's WRONG with you??
just bang her once to get it out of the system. I know thats what you want you just needed someone to say it. Go get her Tiger!!Can humans catch giardia from dogs phone
In July, I met a woman when I was working as a teacher at summer school. We got close and we ended up working together full time at a high school in September. Over the past few months, my wife has been busy with her things and I try to understand because she loves what she does. My colleague and I have gotten so close. It's so obvious we have feelings for each other. I never wanted this, but it happened. She knows I have a wife and I know she has a fiancee. We haven't announced how we feel to each other because we really don't need to. School's out right now so I haven't seen her since last week. I want to see her so bad, but I am a married man. I keep telling myself I am a married man and I love my wife. Everytime I do this, I feel like I am trying to convince myself of something else.
What do I do?I'm having an emotional affair behind my wife's back?
That's how cheating starts when there is no transparency in a marriage. You failed to communicate with your wife how you felt about her behavior, bottled it up inside you and got attracted to another woman. This is definitely cheating. If you told your wife you didn't like her flirting with other men and how you felt about it, she might not continue it.
Now you have to ask yourself what do you really want. If you are still unhappy after she changes her behavior, then you should get a divorce and flirt with other women. But stop cheating while you're still married to her.
By the way, you said that the other woman has a fiance, so she is cheating too. If you're really unhappy, talk about it, if still it doesn't work, get a divorce and find a good woman, with no strings attached.I'm having an emotional affair behind my wife's back?
and what has happened between you and this other woman, is the exact reason why you don't want her flirting with other men!
we ladies sometimes have trouble accepting the fact that our men actually do have feelings, unlike the masculinity that's upfront. if i were you, i'd print her this post and show it to her. obviously she didn't hear you the first time...
...and if she doesn't hear it this time, then you'll have some decisions to make.
good luck.
i can't believe i'm referencing drphil.. but.. he says do not start another relationship until you finish the one you are in.
you and your wife have problems - resolve them one way or another
if you split up, then you can pursue this chick
if you stay together, you wont want to pursue this chick
good luck
If you really love your wife, why do you have to keep trying to convince yourself that you do?....If you really love someone, you don't just think that you love them...you know you love them......GOOD LUCK........BE HAPPY.....LIFE'S TOO SHORT........
the other woman sounds like a perfect match maybe you should give her a chance all is fair in love and war don't wait until you have kids with your wife and decide to leave
Stop seeing this woman. You DO NOT have to hang with her for work.
That is, if you give a rat's butt about your marriage.
Stop it before it goes any further and you can't turn back.
AW! You have a crush:)
Now you have to never talk to her again until you both are over it. Sorry.
Change schools and don't have any more contact with her.
Talk to your wife and keep it in your pants
I like Just Me's answer. How very sweet of her to share that with you. That's very generous.
ACT like you're a married man, that's what you do.
talk to your wife about it.
I agree with 2275c ~
nothin stupid
When you married your wife - what sort of things did you promise her in your vows? Of course most people now don't think honesty is important- perhaps you're in that category. Is a promise only worth keeping if you feel like it? Your question is nicely worded to make others feel sorry for you and forgive your behavior. Example: ';Men flirt with her and she doesn't make an effort to stop it'; or ';My wife has been busy with her things and I try to understand because she loves what she does';
If someone is feeling lonely, left out, or unappreciated in a marriage they should not sit back and feel sorry for themselves (and let someone else fill up their void)-- Be Proactive! ';Flirt'; with her (instead of letting other guys)- compliment her- behave how you did when you wanted HER. Don't allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself and let that be the determining factor in continuing this ';emotional affair.'; Love is a Choice- a decision, not a feeling.
Of course if that's the kind of guy you are (unfaithful, someone who gives up easily, one who promises something that he doesn't care to follow through on, etc...) then sure-- continue with this affair. You're the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror everyday.
I hardly ever get on somebody's case like this-- I'm not trying to be nasty or mean. I know it sounds like it, but I encourage you to take a step back and look at what you've been doing for the past months objectively. Just because you hook up with someone else doesn't guarantee you happiness in the next relationship. No one person can totally meet all the needs (emotionally speaking) of anyone else. I'm sure the woman who you are currently attracted to is very lovely, I'm quite sure there are some redeeming qualities in your wife too, otherwise you wouldn't have married her.
Trust me if you do her now, you'll both in some way lose respect for each other. She will lose some respect for you for doing her while married, and you will lose some respect for her for doing a married man. You may not admit it now, the ';flame'; is providing a ';healthy'; dose of denial, but in the end it will happen. Then further down the line if you are married to this woman, she at least will wonder if you would ever cheat on her, since you cheated once while married. Also, don't forget, in the end, you're the one who is in control of your own life. You can choose to stick by your wife regardless of other temptations and take pride in the fact that you are loyal to your wife. You can choose to decide your marriage was a mistake and you would be much happier with this woman. In the end it's up to you and only YOU know whether this new woman is someone you think you would be forever happy with or whether she is someone you're physically attractive to but wouldn't be able to be faithful to in th end. Only you know the kind of person you are, how easily it comes to you to break vows you made and how seriously you would take next vows. Good luck.
This is not good, because if your wife finds out, she will never trust you again! Is this really worth it losing everything you have and want? This is just an infatuation your going through SO SNAP OUT OF IT! and don't be an idiot! during this vacation time clear your mind of her and start a new with your wife get the passion back this Christmas and go back a new man. My question to you is; why would you want a women that is willing to commit adultery and hurt the man she is promised to? check her character their is something wrong with any women that will go after a married man, and do you really want someone like that? I think its just lust of the flash your going for. as for her, she sounds like bad news! in a pretty package ( BOOM!) :(
Is it really worth it? If your marriage means anything to you, then you won't let this go any further. If this is just a silly crush, get over it - you need to pick who is most important to you, and that should be your wife. Just tell yourself that under no circumstances will you ever let this become more than a friendship, and tell yourself that everytime you think of the other woman.
Okay, I will tell you my story and you pick up from it whatever advice you need... I am a 19 year old college student and I started working at a private gym back in March... I met this wonderful 27 year old man, and, tentatively, we began to fall for each other... He had been with his wife in a relationship for 10 years and married for 2 years... He never imagined he could fall in love with someone else. I, having been brought up with very high morals and having attended church all my life, never thought it was possible that I would fall for a married guy. We both did... Hard. We started seeing each other more, because he always said he felt the way he felt for a reason and he didn't want to let go without figuring out why it was that we were feeling that way... So we became closer each and every day... Then one day his wife found out... It made matters very complicated as she told his entire family and everything got very messy. Everything was dragged on for about 3 months before she finally moved out of the house... Now they are separated and our relationship is stronger than ever. He is planning on getting a divorce, and although we are not proud of the way our relationship started based on deceit, we understand that we are very much in love. I wouldn't trade him for the world and it has been a very hard year for the both of us... Emotionally draining and our relationship has been tested quite a bit... But we keep holding on. What I have to say to you is that it all depends if you think it'll be worth it... What my boyfriend regrets is having kept it from her and her finding out the way she did. Try to always come clean so things are as least complicated as possible... Remember the saying: What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. Good luck to you, and just be careful, patient, and safe....
You are not a bad man. You are simply human...therefore, imperfect.
Be careful here. The fact you know this is not right, and will lead to a lot of stress and drama is clear in your post. You are not some immature 19 year old who has no experience...You are playing with fire- and you know it!
Listen...We all make mistakes, and many times we end up in places we never thought we'd go to. But I really think you need to decide what it is you want.
If you want to remain married, talk to your wife, tell her to stop flirting and tell her how you feel when she does it. Go to counseling- both by yourself and as a couple.
If you feel your resentment and anger have reached a level that cannot be undone, then figure out if you are willing to work on making the relationship work- or not. If you don't love or trust your wife anymore, then get a divorce.
But do not continue to see this other woman for now. She is also in a relationship, and this is also hard for her. If you two are meant to be together, you will feel it and you will both work on ending your mutual relationships first.
Good luck.
hmm... well if you are uncomfortable with your wife flirting then that was the first red flag to do something about saving your marriage. But you chose to ignore it... and shame on you for that.
Every relationship is different, just because other people say flirting is not a big deal does not deem it ';ok'; to do it in your marriage... if you were uncomfortable with it and started to build resentment against her for it, then you should have taken the first step to resolving your marital problems.
Instead you decided to sit on that resentment and use it as an excuse to look elsewhere for attention. There is no one to blame here but you... absolutely your responsbility to take care of your marriage and express your feelings and your needs to your wife. Do you think she is a mindreader?
You suck!
I would suggest talking to your wife about this. If you had done that in the first place, she would have gotten to understand how you feel. I don't think seeing other men flirt with her is cause for finding another woman. Sounds like an excuse to make you feel less guilty about what your doing. If you had communicated with your wife about feeling neglected or that you needed more quality time together, she would be able to know what your needing. Instead you have kept it to yourself, and allowed yourself to fall for someone else. And emotional intimacy is worse that the physical almost. Like you said, you are a married man, though not acting like it. You need to discuss the WHOLE situation with your wife and start being honest now, while you still have a chance to salvage your marriage.
First don't make excuses for what you're feeling. ';other men'; flirting with your wife is not an excuse for allowing yourself to feel anything for another person. If you truly love your wife you would distance yourself from temptation. On top of everything she's also engaged.. you both might just like each others attention and company but if you truly love your wife you'll let those feelings fade away because it's only calling for trouble. Just because you're not necessarily happy or comfortable with what you have at home, doesn't mean that an affair will make things better... ';she'; (your colleague) is not better than your wife.. you just don't live with her. Talk to your wife and let her know what you're feeling, that you feel you need more attention and try new things, you might even find that she feels the same way. Good luck!
Obviously you both need a little more attention. She flirts with other guys to get this attention and you get the attention from this other woman. Maybe you and your wife need to spend some extra time together and have a romantic day. Wine and dine, rent a hotel room (just so you won't be in the same place you have always been). It will mix it up and make things a little more interesting. Bubble bath, roses, candles, red wine. No fighting, or talking about work. Just a whole day dedicated to you two.
that's a tough one because it is hard to convince the heart of something it already has its mind set on,,,,,so talk to your colleague about it...i mean it might be something you just have to let go of....will she be willing to end the engagement and will you be willing to get a divorce,,,you need to figure out what the both of you want and if risking everything will be worth it or is it just a ';you want what you cant have';? and once you have it you wont want it anymore????
There are only a couple solutions to this dilemma sweetie. One is that you tell your wife what's been going on and more importantly, what you feel led to this situation. In order for anything to work, the 2 of you need to commit to marriage counseling and re-commit to the marriage. The marriage counseling will improve your communication skills, make your marriage a priority, and force you two to talk about any issues you're having. My guess is that this other woman offers nothing that your wife doesn't have really - it's just that you have a deeper emotional issue going on with your wife, but instead of facing it, you've chosen to immerse yourself in this other woman. The other option is for you to ask yourself WHY you even allowed this to happen and whether or not you truly want to salvage your r'ship. If the answer is no, then I think you have your answer. But really, I don't think divorce is the right option here. You love your wife, she loves you but the 2 of you just haven't dealt well with the emotional issues you're having. This other woman isn't the answer. In order to give your r'ship a fighting chance, you MUST either transfer schools or insist on teaching in a different part of the school so you don't see her. Seeing her everyday is what has led to this situation.
Are you sure you just don't like this women because she is paying alot of attention to you? Proceed with caution here. Once you cross that line, you can't uncross it. Im aware that you know this so think, think, think!
What your wife does (flirting) is wrong. Especially since she knows it bothers so much but, what you are doing is worse. She openly flirts with other men, you are doing ';something'; behind her back. It is absolutely wrong if you can't tell your spouse about it.
You owe it to yourself and your wife to talk openly about this. Try everything. Counseling if you must. Marriage is supposed to be forever, not until something better comes around.
Good luck to you two.
Honestly, you need to man up a bit. Stop blaming your wife for your actions. It sounds like to me, that you allowed things to develop with the other woman and trying to blame it on your wife's flaws to justify yourself.
You need to decide whether you want your marriage to work or pursue things with this other woman. If you want to work it out with your wife then start being honest with her, and keep contact with the other woman strictly professional. I bet she isn't a mind reader so how is she supposed to know what she does bothers you if you do not tell her? You can't expect your marriage to be successful if you don't work at it. And yes you do need to tell her that her flirting bothers you, not everyone would be upset over that. You resent your wife for something that you haven't been clear about.
If you want to pursue this relationship with the other woman then you need to break things off with your wife. But you sound very petty and a bit of a pussy. It doesn't seem like you genuinely want this other woman, but just trying to go tit for tat with your wife to show her other women want you too. Be honest with yourself, and proactive about improving your relationship.
You go home to your wife, and make things work. You don't make vows to someone, then chase after someone else. That's a good way to wind up having one of them cut off your man parts. Seriously, women can be crazy when you treat them badly.
Transfer schools and stay as far away from this other woman as possible!
Honestly, you're whining because some guy flirts with your wife %26amp; yet you don't see a problem with putting yourself in a situation where you're trying to get with someone else?? Really? You know what it feels like, and you're doing it anyway. What's WRONG with you??
just bang her once to get it out of the system. I know thats what you want you just needed someone to say it. Go get her Tiger!!
Women in there 30's and 40's?
Why is it young girls (late teens to early 20's) refer to women in there 30 and 40's old and gross? I am 33 and look 100% better then I did when I was in that younger age group. I get carded all the time, more men flirt with me even my sons friends think Im his older sister? How are we old, I think women no a days in there 30's and 40's are just plain beautiful and very sexy. Plus I guarentee we also know how to take care of our men alot better then the younger ones do. My man is 3 years younger and tells me I blow his mind way better then anyone hes been with. So why are we gross?Women in there 30's and 40's?
I don't know why..but I don't really care, and neither should you. I am 31, and people think I'm 25, which is fine, but I am much happier and more fulfilled at 31 than I was at 25. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I also thought women in the 30-40 age range were ';old';. Now, I look at girls (yes, girls) in their late teens/early twenties, and they seem very naive, very ';green'; (i.e. inexperienced), and very ';wet behind the ears';. I would not go back ten years for anything.....Women in there 30's and 40's?
The younger gals will learn in time.
Come on now... they are young... don't you remember looking at a woman saying they were old? It is their maturity level.
I'm 48 %26amp; i agree that woman get better all around--MIND, LOOKS, ATTITUDE, COMMON SENSE, able to handle conflicts, sorrow, life in general.....................
We are not gross, I am 31 and all my younger friends always say how old I am. People that meet me for the first time think I am under 30 and on that note I have never felt better. I have a great career, I know what I want in life. I date younger men as well as men my age. With age comes experience if you know what I mean!
because we are at our prime and they're just jealous
I will be 50 years old in 2 weeks, and I love it! Just to let you know, a lot of things get better with age. The girls who refere to us as ';old,'; haven't been here yet, and rudeness does play a role in their statements. I wouldn't let it bother me at all. They have no idea what being a ';real'; woman is yet, so just smile to yourself....and know why.
I think you are generalizing women over 30 and 40 are as beautiful as girls in their 20's.
All women are pretty...
I'm with you honey I'm 43 yrs old and i don't look a day over 25 i get carded all the time my daughter is 26 and she never gets carded. i feel, look and smell sexy all day long i guess the younger women see and can't explain why we look so good so the try and discredit us and trust me to know avail men and i mean younger men in there late 20s to 30s all want to be with older good looking women, so i say to the young ladies grow older gracefully and embrace who you are and love yourself once you do that you would not look at us older women with contempt but with respect and see that we are not gross and ugly, but we are the women whom you should want to grow up and mature to be sexy classy and refined ladies so instead of hating you should be embracing and asking about the knowledge of the older women and how you can grow older with class and style lol
That is false. Do you know something. All the women who I have wanted to marry were between 35 and 40. I don't like the young girls because their body is not sexy enough when they are young.
Between 35 and 40 is when the breasts of the woman is perfectly shape and her hips are in the best of shape.
Also her whole body is most beautiful at that time. Not only physical appearance but also they are mature. I am 20 years old but I think women in 30s and 40s are better than the teenage girls.
It is also proven that women reach the peak of their beauty at 40.
Before 40 their beauty increases till it peaks at 40 and then it decreases.
It is also proven that a man's sexual desire and sexual drive are best after 40 and so their wives would have to be around that age. So god knew this and made women beautiful at 40.
I think your beauty is increasing and has 7 years to reach its peak.
They are a little afraid they are missing out,maybe gealous of the maturity of women in their 30's and 40's and what they have in life!.
I think my wife is more gorgeous now,and sexy than when she was in her 20's.
Because women today are are really taking care of themselves and staying younger looking for many more years now than our mothers did...the younger girls are feeling the pressure. In our area - some mothers dropping their daughters off at school DO look as good or better than their daughters (many young people today are overweight from the fast food and sedentary lifestyle). The 70's and 80's generations are in their late 30's and 40's now; and we grew up more health conscieous than other generations. (Remember Ewal Gibbons, Susan Powder and Richard Simmons?) Also - our society teaches people to be afraid of aging. I think of it as growing up and getting better, smarter, more confident; and yes some times sexier and more desirable.
I am 30 and I love it. They are just young and don't know any better.
I don't know why..but I don't really care, and neither should you. I am 31, and people think I'm 25, which is fine, but I am much happier and more fulfilled at 31 than I was at 25. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I also thought women in the 30-40 age range were ';old';. Now, I look at girls (yes, girls) in their late teens/early twenties, and they seem very naive, very ';green'; (i.e. inexperienced), and very ';wet behind the ears';. I would not go back ten years for anything.....Women in there 30's and 40's?
The younger gals will learn in time.
Come on now... they are young... don't you remember looking at a woman saying they were old? It is their maturity level.
I'm 48 %26amp; i agree that woman get better all around--MIND, LOOKS, ATTITUDE, COMMON SENSE, able to handle conflicts, sorrow, life in general.....................
We are not gross, I am 31 and all my younger friends always say how old I am. People that meet me for the first time think I am under 30 and on that note I have never felt better. I have a great career, I know what I want in life. I date younger men as well as men my age. With age comes experience if you know what I mean!
because we are at our prime and they're just jealous
I will be 50 years old in 2 weeks, and I love it! Just to let you know, a lot of things get better with age. The girls who refere to us as ';old,'; haven't been here yet, and rudeness does play a role in their statements. I wouldn't let it bother me at all. They have no idea what being a ';real'; woman is yet, so just smile to yourself....and know why.
I think you are generalizing women over 30 and 40 are as beautiful as girls in their 20's.
All women are pretty...
I'm with you honey I'm 43 yrs old and i don't look a day over 25 i get carded all the time my daughter is 26 and she never gets carded. i feel, look and smell sexy all day long i guess the younger women see and can't explain why we look so good so the try and discredit us and trust me to know avail men and i mean younger men in there late 20s to 30s all want to be with older good looking women, so i say to the young ladies grow older gracefully and embrace who you are and love yourself once you do that you would not look at us older women with contempt but with respect and see that we are not gross and ugly, but we are the women whom you should want to grow up and mature to be sexy classy and refined ladies so instead of hating you should be embracing and asking about the knowledge of the older women and how you can grow older with class and style lol
That is false. Do you know something. All the women who I have wanted to marry were between 35 and 40. I don't like the young girls because their body is not sexy enough when they are young.
Between 35 and 40 is when the breasts of the woman is perfectly shape and her hips are in the best of shape.
Also her whole body is most beautiful at that time. Not only physical appearance but also they are mature. I am 20 years old but I think women in 30s and 40s are better than the teenage girls.
It is also proven that women reach the peak of their beauty at 40.
Before 40 their beauty increases till it peaks at 40 and then it decreases.
It is also proven that a man's sexual desire and sexual drive are best after 40 and so their wives would have to be around that age. So god knew this and made women beautiful at 40.
I think your beauty is increasing and has 7 years to reach its peak.
They are a little afraid they are missing out,maybe gealous of the maturity of women in their 30's and 40's and what they have in life!.
I think my wife is more gorgeous now,and sexy than when she was in her 20's.
Because women today are are really taking care of themselves and staying younger looking for many more years now than our mothers did...the younger girls are feeling the pressure. In our area - some mothers dropping their daughters off at school DO look as good or better than their daughters (many young people today are overweight from the fast food and sedentary lifestyle). The 70's and 80's generations are in their late 30's and 40's now; and we grew up more health conscieous than other generations. (Remember Ewal Gibbons, Susan Powder and Richard Simmons?) Also - our society teaches people to be afraid of aging. I think of it as growing up and getting better, smarter, more confident; and yes some times sexier and more desirable.
I am 30 and I love it. They are just young and don't know any better.
Anxiety at and about work??
I have an anxiety disorder and there are lots of changes at work. My boss retired and one of my peers has taken her place as acting director. One girl continuously talks about finding another job, her looks, men flirting with her and other annoying things. Another coworker is talking about leaving in December and yet another one is planning to retire in March. Another of my coworkers has already left to have a baby and she probably won't be returning.
Through all of these changes my job has stayed the same, but all of these external things are making my anxiety worse. I don't want to come to work and when I'm here I don't want to be here. I like what I do don't get me wrong about that, but I don't know how to handle all of the anxiety. I cry just about every morning and I don't want to leave home. I'm absolutely miserable. Any suggestions?? Anyone been through this? What do you do when your coworkers drive you nuts?Anxiety at and about work??
I suggest you find a new jobAnxiety at and about work??
Well, from my experience I have found no one is going to change because they upset me. I wish they would, but it just isn't going to happen. For me I practice everyday turning a deaf ear to gossip, innuendo's, small talk around the office. Come in, do my work and go home. That is all I can do. If they are upsetting me, it is not them that have the problem, it is I. This is a very hard lesson to learn. Let go and let them be what ever they need to be. Peace to You.
go talk to someone, a doc before you really lose it it sounds like you are nearing the end of your rope.
this is too serious to depend on YA for help.
At my last job, my boss and coworker left within weeks (the three of us made up the department), then they hired a socially inept person to take over as boss and a co-op to recreate the department. I was so anxious about it I got migraines. I started looking for a new job and found a great replacement job with more support and stability. I recommend at least looking at other employment opportunities.
I have been there, not only at work but other situations.
I was given klonopin to alleviate the symptoms.
I suggest that if your job is causing more anxiety, LEAVE!
It's not healthy for you.
Wow are you sure you don't work with me? :) Lots of annoying people here as well and I hate it, I made friends with the cool ones but I use headphones to block out the irritating ones. Its not worth getting so upset over, its just a job, if you don't feel things are going to get any better maybe its time to look for another job.
Through all of these changes my job has stayed the same, but all of these external things are making my anxiety worse. I don't want to come to work and when I'm here I don't want to be here. I like what I do don't get me wrong about that, but I don't know how to handle all of the anxiety. I cry just about every morning and I don't want to leave home. I'm absolutely miserable. Any suggestions?? Anyone been through this? What do you do when your coworkers drive you nuts?Anxiety at and about work??
I suggest you find a new jobAnxiety at and about work??
Well, from my experience I have found no one is going to change because they upset me. I wish they would, but it just isn't going to happen. For me I practice everyday turning a deaf ear to gossip, innuendo's, small talk around the office. Come in, do my work and go home. That is all I can do. If they are upsetting me, it is not them that have the problem, it is I. This is a very hard lesson to learn. Let go and let them be what ever they need to be. Peace to You.
go talk to someone, a doc before you really lose it it sounds like you are nearing the end of your rope.
this is too serious to depend on YA for help.
At my last job, my boss and coworker left within weeks (the three of us made up the department), then they hired a socially inept person to take over as boss and a co-op to recreate the department. I was so anxious about it I got migraines. I started looking for a new job and found a great replacement job with more support and stability. I recommend at least looking at other employment opportunities.
I have been there, not only at work but other situations.
I was given klonopin to alleviate the symptoms.
I suggest that if your job is causing more anxiety, LEAVE!
It's not healthy for you.
Wow are you sure you don't work with me? :) Lots of annoying people here as well and I hate it, I made friends with the cool ones but I use headphones to block out the irritating ones. Its not worth getting so upset over, its just a job, if you don't feel things are going to get any better maybe its time to look for another job.
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