When my husband died, I've looked all over for some older man to love me. How can I stop?

Sometimes, I think I subconsciously flirt with men who are not available then I feel so embarrased like: Why am I like this. How can I stop trying to get loved from someone else?When my husband died, I've looked all over for some older man to love me. How can I stop?
It is tough losing a life partner. Some years ago I lost mine. Subconsciously I believe we long for someone to love again. So we flirt, and we look. When we do find that someone... flirting would stop.





The problem is... the tendency to compare every available or unavailable person that caught our eye with our lost love. And chances are they'd end up wanting for we have developed an edified perception of our mate during those happy years. If we can stop ourselves from measuring potential mates with have we have lost... and measuring them instead with what they do have... then we'll find a suitable mate for sure.





That's what I think. And that's what I will put to the test. Hopefully it would result in a suitable mate. Perhaps for you too.When my husband died, I've looked all over for some older man to love me. How can I stop?
sounds like your lonely and miss your husband, you could be flirting with unattainable men because u know that u cannot have them and you feel guilty cuz u think it would be cheating on him if u did find someone else.





the way to think about this is that your husband had your interests at heart and he would want u to be happy. he has passed on and im sure he would want you to find happiness. grieve at your lose and allow yourself to move on.
First of all, I would like to start off with my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that nobody can ever really get over such a tragedy.


I know what it is like to lose a family member. Or, to almost lose a close friend. I understand what you are feeling completely.


When you lose somehow who you really love, you don't only lose them-you kind of lose a piece of yourself.


I believe that personalities have many sides to them. And, around certain people, certain sides are expressed more. People can bring out a side that we never even knew we had! My grandparents brought out the best in me. They taught me how to love...and most importantly, just how to be a kid!


And, now that they're gone-I'm never gonna have that same feeling ever again.


So, now going back to you...


Your husband died.


And, along with him-so did apart of your soul.


He made you feel loved. He brought out that part of you-the part that was able to love him back.


And, now that he has moved on to the next life...you have no one to share that special connection with.


It, probably, upsets you. Something that you had for so long is not available. And, it all happened out of the blue!


So, it makes sense-for you to now want men who are not available for you anymore.


Now...how to stop?


I suggest you go soul-searching/find a rite of passage. Get into those type of things...find out more about yourself...and then love yourself. So, when the perfect man (that is available) comes around for you...you will be ready to love him. And, that missing piece-will find you as well. And, you can be whole.
I sounds to me like you never got closure after your husbands death, and that part of you is still holding on to him. Perhaps you should seek some form of therapy to discuss any unresolved feelings of gilt, love, and so on and so forth, whatever it may be.
I am so sorry for your lose. You need to learn to love yourself first before you try and love someone else. What you are experiencing is normal but it can turn into a problem later in life. Talking to skilled Professional is always a good idea. Good luck.
Wanting to love and be loved is a human condition. Stop flirting with unavailable men and seek out someone that will make you happy.
...you haven't flirted with me yet !
you don't want to be alone......it's hard to be alone so suddenly after years
Just stop your making it harder than what it is. Hope i helped.